Hair
by JessieWrites
Summary: Glorfindel is famous for many things, one of which is his hair. But Erestor and the others get tired of finding hair everywhere and decide to do something about it.


Glorfindel was known for his heroism and honor. He saved many lives by doing battle with the great fiery balrog. He fell that day, but Mandos saw fit to give him a second life. Glorfindel rose from the grave with a new task, to protect and serve the Half-Elven family. This task he gladly accepted and once again rode atop his faithful mount Asfaloth, who had been granted long life.

His heroic deeds and character, though, were not the only things he was famed for. He was also known for his hair. His mane was long for a warrior. It hung all the way to his hips. Most Elven warriors cut their hair short, rarely letting it grow past the shoulders. They knew better than to become felled because of something as vain as ones looks.

Glorfindel knew this too and in his first life his hair only reached his shoulder blades. Now, though, he was trying to enjoy the little things, appreciate and live life to its fullest potential. So he let his hair grow, which it did, all the way to his hips in thick, golden, waves. He would tie it in a braid during scouting and patrol, but otherwise he would allow it to remain free flowing.

This of course would not be a problem, but Glorfindel's hair, pretty as it may be, was a nuisance to society. It shed terribly. None could escape the long clingy hairs. After a swim in the river or in the bath pools, they would float about and attach themselves to the first elf to come along. They clung to many of his clothes, furniture, and various items. To spend even a few minutes in his quarters was to invite them onto your clothes. Glorfindel did his best. He constantly cleaned his rooms, took extra care of his office, and occasionally tied his hair back, but it was all to no avail.

On this particular morning, Glorfindel rose before even the sun. Crickets still chirped outside his window. Feeling strangely invigorated, he decided to show his love to those he cared for. He quickly bathed and pulled on a set of simple trousers and shirt. A breakfast, he thought to himself, would be perfect.

So he made his way to the kitchens. The staff were just lighting the first cooking fires. He cleared himself a spot and readied his supplies. Soon enough he was covered in flour and pans sizzled, lending the air a most delicious aroma. Several times, as chef's prerogative, he sampled what he cooked. 'This is quite good,' he thought, 'if I don't say so myself.' He hummed loudly and danced around the kitchen happily. The ladies of course danced along with him and they had a wonderful start of the day.

-JW-

Erestor rose with the sun. He breathed in the cool morning air that came through his window and just lay where he was. The silk sheets that were as dark as his hair, felt cool on his bared skin. Gracefully he slid from his covers and donned a robe, equally dark. Much of his quarters were swathed in dark rich colors of burgundy, gold, and black. His floors were a dark red-brown, made from the trees where Elrond's house now stood. His furniture sported a few different shades of burgundy and black, while pillows and accents were lined in gold.

He allowed the servants to fill up his bathe and then dismissed them. He sank into the warm water. Scented potpourri floated around him, accented by the bath oils that had been added. He lingered for a while after he has washed. When he was finished with his morning bath, he clothed himself in heavy robes of office and house shoes and left for the breakfast hall.

He was, as normal, the first to arrive. Not long after, Elrond and his family came and seated themselves. A maid came over and informed them that their food would arrive shortly. As she left, Glorfindel entered, hair loosely tied back and covered with flour.

"Good morning, my friends!"

Celebrian smiled, "Why Glorfindel, what a good mood you're in today."

"It is a wonderful morning, full of laughter and…"

"Flour?" Erestor eyed his spattered form.

Glorfindel laughed louder, "Well, you do get messy when cooking. But I suspect you would know nothing of that, my dear Advisor."

Elrond joined in with a jab of his own, "Glorfindel, you are mistaken. Erestor often cooks for the orcs!"

"Aye," Celebrian agreed, "Many a orc have been felled by Erestor's culinary skills!"

Erestor's lips thinned and his eyes narrowed in mock anger, "If you want their population to grow, then I shall cook for them no more."

They shared in the laughter for a bit, making jibes at Erestor's failing, until Glorfindel told them why he was covered in the white powder. "I have made breakfast for those closest to my heart this fine morning as a token of my affection. I will be back in a minute with the first course." He took his leave of them and immediately the uncertainties were expressed.

Arwen wrinkled her petite nose, "Did you see his hair?"

Elrond nodded, "There is no way it did not end up in the food."

Celebrian looked forlornly at her husband, "What are we to do? We can not refuse." 

Erestor sighed, "We can not refuse, therefore we will have to eat whatever he brings."

A collective groan could be heard. Glorfindel came back and brought the first course, egg quiche. More servings followed. Glorfindel had cooked quiche, bacon, made salad, orange juice, various fruits, sausage, and many breakfast goodies. He left one more time to bring out the desert, oatmeal cookies.

The meal had been a success so far. No hair was found and the food tasted delicious. Erestor smiled happily and brought another fork full of eggs to his mouth. He stopped smiling. The others noticed his sudden coldness after a couple of seconds. Elrond, dreading that he already knew, asked, "Are you alright?" 

Slowly Erestor reached to his mouth and grabbed something with his fingers. His mouth pressed thinly together, he slowly pulled away with his fingers. As they came away, he pulled from his mouth a long, blonde hair. Arwen screeched "Ewe!" Gagging could be heard from different directions. The other elves at the table gave Erestor sympathetic expressions as he pulled the last of the hair out of his mouth. He grimaced and coughed and took a sip of water. Glorfindel returned with desert.

"Here you go, my friends." He placed strawberries topped with sugar and whipped cream in front of every at the table, including those that he hadn't served before, but had seen Erestor pull the hair out. They all stared at the food, a few poked around looking for some more hair. Glorfindel stood with his hands behind his back. "Come on, eat!" He stood there with a big grin on his face as everyone began eating rather reluctantly. Everyone that is, except Erestor. Glorfindel glared at Erestor in mock anger. "Erestor, does my cooking bother you so or is it I who displeases you?"

"Nay, it is most defiantly not your cooking so much as it is you."

Glorfindel's smile dissipated at Erestor's obvious anger. "What have I done?" 

Erestor stood and gathered his robes together. "Perhaps you should tame that wild mane of yours and keep it out of my food!" He quickly turned away.

Elrond yelled after his retreating advisor, "Erestor! Erestor!" He sighed and turned to Glorfindel, whose bright day had suddenly turned gray. "I'm sorry, your breakfast was very delicious, but I'm afraid Erestor's was spoiled."

"He found a hair."

"I'm afraid so."

"I should apologize…" He turned and went out the door Erestor had just went through."

-JW-

Erestor fumed. Blast Glorfindel and his golden locks. Everywhere there was hair. Sure they all shed, they all had long hair, but Glorfindel's got everywhere! "Erestor! Please!" He kept walking, hoping the insufferable ray of sunshine would just leave him be. "Erestor! Look I'm sorry! Please! Stop!" Erestor groaned but stopped walking. Glorfindel caught up and walked around so he was standing in front of Erestor. He frowned more as he saw the disgruntled look on Erestor's face. His shoulders sunk and his eyes looked at the floor. "I truly am sorry Erestor, I only meant to fix breakfast for everyone. I hope you are okay."

Erestor sighed, "Its alright Glor'. The only thing hurt is my pride and dignity. I should not have yelled at you, please accept my apologies."

"That's okay, I know you do have a temper when irritated so."

"Still, its no excuse. You were very kind and the food was delicious. It's a shame I missed the desert." 

Glorfindel smiled and bounced on his toes. "Well then! Let's head down to the kitchen and I'll make you desert." Glorfindel wrapped his arm around Erestor's shoulder and dragged him toward the kitchen.

-JW-

Later that day Erestor was lounging with Elrond and his family in one of their formal rooms. "Elrond, I've been considering something."

"About what?"

"Well, Glorfindel…his hair, it gets everywhere. What if it didn't anymore?"

Celebrian leaned forward. "How?"

"Well, what if we cut it? Hair grows back, so in a few years or more." 

Elrond shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. He seems really fond of his hair."

Arwen seemed to agree with her father. "We shouldn't bother Glorfindel. Maybe we can convince him to trim his hair and keep it pinned back properly." 

Elrohir and Elladan spoke together, "Lets cut his hair!" 

The room erupted into chatter as they bantered back and forth. Eventually, against Elrond's better judgment they decided to play a little trick on Glorfindel. They all had their own roles to play; none would be able to escape blame.

First Elrond made a liquid sleeping draught. That night, Erestor asked Glorfindel to join him for a late night drink. When they asked a servant to bring up some wine, the twins brought it instead. They mixed in their father's concoction and greeted Glorfindel. He was a bit surprised but he accepted the wine then went back inside to drink with Erestor.

Now, Erestor made sure not to truly drink any of it. But Glorfindel drank and soon enough he was out cold. That was when Arwen and Celebrian came and did their part. They brought out their scissors and got to work.

The next morning Glorfindel awoke feeling slightly light headed but none the worse for wear. He stretched and walked to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and released a very manly scream. He put his hands to his hair, his beautiful, golden, gorgeous hair. It was so short! It didn't even reach his shoulders!

When did this happen? He quickly thought about last night and could only come to one conclusion. "ERESTOR!!!"

-JW-

Erestor was sitting behind his desk when the world around him exploded. The door to his office busted open and several of his books and scrolls tumbled from shelves. Glorfindel stormed in, clad only in his long nightshirt. He towered over Erestor and his desk. His eyes glared with malice that none had seen since his return. A glare that last showed itself when he faced the deadly balrog. "Erestor." The cold in his voice made the very feared and respected Advisor to shiver and shrink back in his chair, eyes wide. 

"I-I…It's just a haircut, it'll grow back."

"I liked my hair the way it was."

Erestor hung his head. "I'm sorry. I guess I was just fed up with your hair."

Glorfindel narrowed his eyes in thought. He smiled. "Well, it is just hair." 

Erestor smiled, "Yah, its just hair."

-JW-

Later that day Erestor was lounging with Elrond and his family again except this time Glorfindel was with them. They laughed and told Glorfindel of their scheming and clever trick. Glorfindel passed around his best wine and everything seemed to be on the mend. That is, until everyone realized just how tired they were suddenly becoming.

Elrohir rubbed his eyes, "Oh, I'm so tired." He slumped against his brother who let out a big yawn. Arwen curled up next to her mother and together they slipped into dream. Elrond slumped in his chair and began snoring.

Erestor fought to keep his eyes open. He rose unsteadily to his feet. "What…?" His eyes became too heavy and he slumped forward. Glorfindel easily caught his friend in his arms.

"Easy, 'Tor." He smiled at his friends. "Let's get some haircuts."

-JW-

A few weeks later the King of Mirkwood and his royal entourage entered the gates of Imladris. He was escorted through the gradens and many halls until he was brought before the court of Elrond. He had expected many things, mainly to see a regal group of elves. What he saw was a group of finely dressed elves, yes, but not quite as he would have thought.

"E-Elrond? Celebrian? Erestor? What has happened? Were you caught in trap?" He looked back and forth between the Lord and Lady and their Chief Advisor and Blonde Warrior.

The elves before him sighed as one. They looked towards each other and then back at Thranduil. Their short hair barely reached their collars, and in many places it stuck up rather undignified. Short hair really doesn't agree with clips and twists. Elrond shook his head. "Neigh, we just thought that perhaps it would be less of an inconvenience if our hair was short and…shed less."

"Oh. Well, okay then. Shall we eat? Its been a long journey."

"Right this way." The elves left the room and went to dine in the dinning hall. Later that day, Thranduil, who had tired of pulling his own hair back, got his own hair cut. When his party returned to Mirkwood, Legolas was stunned to find that all the elves had cut their hair. For the next hundred years a new hair fashion emerged among the elves. It only ended when a dwarf remarked that they looked more like humans with short hair and should keep it that way. Soon long hair abounded again and they all lived happily ever after. Then Sauron returned.

-JW-

Please review on my sorry attempt at humor.


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